The Grammy’s 2017 was full of delightful surprises.
Beyonce performed pregnant with our twins (yes OUR twins), Chance The Rapper won “Best New Artist Of The Year” and “Best Rap Album Of The Year” as an independent artist, Adele admitted that Beyonce deserved to win “Album Of The Year”, and last but not least “Best Rap Album Of The Year” nominee School Boy Q showed up looking like the super dad that he is with his daughter in matching hot pink outfits on the Grammy’s red carpet.
The image of School Boy Q in a pink sweatshirt that said “Girl Power” that matched his daughter Joy’s pink Gucci suit went viral, and it silently spoke volumes. It was a rare sighting of a positive father/daughter relationship in the African American community and showed where School Boy Q stands on gender inequality issues (he’s not having it!).
“I see a lot of stuff going on with women these days and I’m here to support them. I could go out and protest and all that, but me having a little girl, I think it starts right here—to let her know what’s going on, how she needs to be treated and the respect she needs to be given.” – School Boy Q via LA Times
On the note of positive father/daughter relationships, developmental psychologist proves School Boy Q right. Self-worth, self-esteem, and self-empowerment all start in the home. A father’s presence, love, and positive influence are vital to the mental and emotional development of our litter girls and future women. We have all heard of the term “Daddy Issues”, how fathers treat mothers and their children set the tone for who their daughters will become and what they will allow from their future partners and other male figures in their life. Many times we see women fall into unhealthy relationships with others and themselves because of this. Hurt people, hurt people and it is a cycle that has been affecting the African-American community since the beginning of time.
Daughters need their fathers. Girls who have a solid sense of self are usually “daddy’s girls”. When your father tells you how beautiful and smart you are, you will believe him and know it in your heart. Your father’s overflowing love and affection will make it difficult for you to accept anything less than because you know what is true and what is possible.When your father tells you that you can be whoever you want to be in life you believe him and feel empowered, he is the most strong and authoritative figure in your life and if he says it, got damn it’s true! Sadly the majority of us didn’t grow up with a positive father figure in our life, and it is okay!
Daddy Issues are like allergies, and most of us have them. To live a better life we have to make the decision to consciously admit to them and work through them. Here’s a bit of advice to get over your daddy issues to live a healthier and happier life with yourself and others:
- Be upfront with your partner, let them know about your families history. 9/10 they will understand and work with you through these issues that are affecting your relationship. If they aren’t willing to grow and work with you, kick that sucker to the curb! They are not husband material.
- Know that as women you are not inferior to a man no matter what you have seen in your household. Find positive images of successful women and study their stories, you are just like them and you have the ability to be whoever you want to be if you believe in yourself.
- Get cool with your father, as much as it may hurt in the beginning you will ultimately heal the biggest hole in your heart. Therapy is a good start for this, it will reveal your past to you and help you through the pain in your journey to healing.
- Find the qualities you seek for in a male in yourself. Find your confidence. Find your sexiness. Find your strength. Take charge of yourself and your life decisions before you let anyone else in to have a say so.
- Be patient. This is all apart of life and you are not the only one. If you have made it this far through the article then you have thought about yourself and any issues that you may have with your father, that is simply the first step. It takes time to heal any scar, physical or emotional.