3 Ways To Celebrate Valentine’s Day When You’re Single

With Valentine’s Day less than a week away, it’s almost time for the long-drawn-out social media love notes from couples professing their love for one another and photos of dinner dates, gifts, and marriage proposals.

While I will admit that Valentine’s Day isn’t necessarily a single woman or man’s favorite holiday, it isn’t necessarily the worst either. As I got older, I began to look at Valentine’s Day as more of a day to spread love to all, yourself included. Believe it or not, there is room on Valentine’s Day to celebrate self-love and you can do so by using a few of the ideas I’ve provided below!

With Your Other Single Friends

Instead of dwelling on the love that you don’t have on Valentine’s Day, let’s get into the habit of celebrating the love that you do have. A fun way to celebrate Valentine’s Day when you’re single is to gather up a few of your other single girlfriends and make it a girl’s day or girl’s night out. I’m talking get dressed up and make reservations at one of your favorite brunch or dinner spots. It’ll be the perfect time to catch up over good food and drinks and engage in that much-needed girl chat. I mean, who doesn’t love that?

Make It A Self-Care Day

Listen, I’m all about self-care, so any opportunity that I have to make a single day all about treating myself, I’ll take it. A trip to the spa, a relaxing day at home watching Netflix, a day of shopping, or a movie ticket for one are all great ways to spend Valentine’s Day treating yourself and celebrating self-love, which to me is the most important kind of love. If you’re interested, be sure to check out my previous post on how to create the perfect at-home spa day.

Buy A Gift For Someone You Love

You may feel like you should be the receiving gifts on Valentine’s Day, but you’d be surprised at how good it’ll make you feel to buy a gift for someone you love. Whether it’s a gift for your mom, your daughter, your grandmother, or best friend, the idea is to not always be on the receiving end of Valentine’s Day but to spread love to others as well. Trust me, I’ve done it for my mother and it’s worth it.

Niecy Nash To Host & Executive Produce TNT Late-Night Series Pilot

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Would you be interested in hearing Niecy Nash’s point of view on love, sex, romance, and relationships? If so, you’re going to love what TNT has in store for you.

The cable network has ordered a pilot for a late-night series with Niecy Nash as the host and executive producer. The pilot is currently titled ‘Naked with Niecy Nash’ and will mark the first ever late-night series for TNT should it be ordered to series.

“I’m so excited to add my voice to the late-night landscape,” said Nash. “Love is the thing we were created for but it’s also the place we struggle the most… until now! This is going to be a fun and sexy ride! TNT is the perfect partner for me in this endeavor! Adding an experienced and amazing executive producer and showrunner like Sue Murphy to this mix was the cherry on top.”

Niecy, who currently stars on TNT’s ‘Claws,’ will executive produce alongside pilot showrunner Sue Murphy. Sue’s resume includes executive producing and writing for the Netflix talk show “Chelsea,” and also served as an executive producer on E!’s “Chelsea Lately.”

“Niecy’s Award-nominated work in our hit series, ‘Claws,’ doesn’t even begin to cover the range of talent she can bring to television,” said Sarah Aubrey, executive vice president of original programming at TNT. “Her improvisational skills, laugh-out-loud sense of humor, honesty, and thoughtfulness about the subjects of love and relationships made her book, ‘It’s Hard to Fight Naked,’ a best-seller, and make Sue Murphy and Niecy Nash the perfect team to bring this type of playful show to TNT. Despite the title, Niecy will be doing the pilot fully-clothed.”

LeToya Luckett And Husband Tommicus Walker Are Expecting Their First Child Together

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Former Destiny’s Child member LeToya Luckett and her husband Tommicus Walker are expecting their first child together. In a 40 second video   narrated by her stepdaughter Madison, Letoya, shared the exciting news via Instagram early Wednesday morning.

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BIG NEWS from MADISON ❤️

A post shared by LeToya Luckett-Walker (@letoyaluckett) on

“ Hi, my name is Madison Walker and I know something you don’t know!” “ Ummm I think I’ll give you a hint.” “Daddy and Ms. Toya sitting in a tree, kissing. Eww! First comes love, then comes marriage then comes the baby.”

This pregnancy announcement comes just a few months after the singer and her husband Tommicus Walker tied the knot. The pair had an unconventional courtship but its one that we can take some notes from. In an interview with Essence, Luckett revels that “we talked for weeks and he still didn’t know what I looked like or my full name or anything like that.” Soon after the pair bonded over their religious beliefs. “After a few weeks of talking, we were praying together on the phone and reading scriptures and everything like that,” says Luckett

It was finally on his birthday in which he surprised her with an engagement that the couple went public with their relationship. “I feel it’s very important to build your foundation first before sharing your relationship with the world.”

How Serena Williams Handled Her Dad Not Coming To Her Wedding

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News about the royal wedding has been buzzing and the word is that Megan Markle’s dad will not be walking her down the aisle. It is every daughter’s dream to have their father or father figure give them away to their husband on their special day. It can be very hard if a father is not able to commit to that tradition but it happens, and it shouldn’t be the end of the world.

Serena Williams who is a friend of Megan Markle opened up on Being Serena about her father not being able to walk her down the aisle because he was too nervous. Serene said that “He was in New Orleans, he had a suit, and I know he was really excited,” she said in a voiceover.  “But then he wrote me and said: Serena, I don’t want you to be mad at me, but I just can’t walk you down the aisle. I’m not myself anymore. I’m just too nervous.”

She quickly wrote back: “Daddy, it’s okay, if you don’t want to come to the wedding at all, that’s okay too. I’m not going to be upset with you about it, so I don’t want you to be upset about it.” She went on to say: “Maybe a lot of daughters wouldn’t react the same way, but I know the struggles he’s had these last few years. His health is better now, but I know he still doesn’t feel like himself, doesn’t feel like he’s perfect. And if he doesn’t want to be up there in front of a lot of people, I completely understand. Look, when we first came on the scene, there were a lot of people who didn’t get him. I don’t think a lot of them wanted to get him. I don’t think a lot of him could have anyway. Our family knows what we have. We just want each other to be happy. That’s what matters. I don’t think anything could ever change that.”

 

 

Tia Mowry Welcomes New Born Baby Girl

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A congratulations is in order for Tia Mowry and husband Cory Hardrict as the welcome a baby girl! Although Tia has yet to share her little girls name with fans she has taken to Instagram to express her joy and give us a full description of her Cinco De Mayo baby. She captioned a photo of her holding her daughter,

“Feeling grateful and blessed as we welcome our little baby girl into the world.” Born May 5th at 10: 29 am at 6 pounds and 4 OZ 19.8 inches. We are in heaven.

Tia, who also is mother to Cree, a six year old, has been very open about her struggles to conceive her second child. In an interview with People, Tia says “I didn’t think I’d be able to have a second child, and it’s been over seven years since my first pregnancy” said Mowry-Hardrict, “I put it off, but I did want to have another child”

“I didn’t let my infertility issues  define me or define what my goals were and what I wanted out of life,” “We did try for a long time. It was hard. But I didn’t give up.”

10 Perks of Living The Single Life In Your 20’s

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When I think about how long I’ve been single, I can honestly say that I’m rather impressed. I don’t know how I’ve been able to maintain my sanity as a single millennial for so long, but it hasn’t always been easy. Living in a society that prides themselves so heavily on companionship and relationship goals can sometimes make being single feel unacceptable or frowned upon. However, I learned early on that relationships do not define who we are as people and being in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean we will be happy. I’m coming up on my seven-year anniversary of living the single life and to be honest, it’s not as bad as it sounds. Let’s just say that it allows me to focus on things that are important to me without any distractions.

We can agree that there are both pros and cons to being single or in a relationship. However, I do believe that there are a lot of misconceptions out here that single people are these unhappy and desperate individuals who long for love they can’t get. No offense to anyone, but relationships aren’t exactly the hardest to get into nowadays.

Front and center are always the misfortunes of living the single life, but I rarely hear anyone talk about its perks. Yes, there are perks to being single — let’s talk about them!

10 Perks of Living The Single Life In Your 20’s

1. You can come and go as you please without having to offer an explanation to anyone of your whereabouts.

2. You can have as many guy friends as you’d like without having to dilute the nature of your friendship.

3. You save money during the holidays that require gift-giving.

4. You don’t have to share. You know, not that I mind sharing.

5. You can make decisions without having anyone to consider, other than your little ones (i.e. job opportunities, last minute plans, etc.).

6. You don’t have to go through the uneasiness or nervousness of meeting his family in hopes that they will like you.

7. You don’t feel pressure to always look red carpet ready, even when you’re not up to it. You know, sometimes you don’t want to have to require any effort.

8. You don’t have to pretend to like his friends or partake in meaningless conversations with them just to make him happy.

9. You can take as much time as you need to focus on yourself without any distractions.

10. You can be as neat or as messy as you’d like without judgement.

What are some of things you love most about being single?

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Laverne Cox Becomes The First Trans Women To Cover Cosmo

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Laverne Cox has been talking the talk and walking the walk for years. In 2014, Cox became the first openly transgender person to be nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award in an acting category for her role as Sophia Burset in Orange Is the New Black. She then went on to becoming the first openly transgender woman to win a Daytime Emmy as an Executive Producer of the documentary The T Word. Fast forward to today and Cox is making history once again as the first openly trans women to ever cover Cosmopolitan magazine! Yas!

Cox is featured on the valentines day February issue “Say Yes To Love” edition of Cosmopolitan South Africa. This issue focused on the LGBTQI+ community and love of self-others, and non-binary relationships.

The OITNB star is featured on the February “Say Yes to Love” edition of Cosmopolitan South Africa, Valentine’s issue focused on the LGBTQI+ community and love of “self, others, and non-binary relationships,” said the mag’s Editor-in-Chief Holly Meadows.

“Trans women deserve to be loved out in the open and in the light.” – Laverne Cox via Cosmo

#TransIsBeautiful spread the word.

Jordin Sparks and Husband Dana Isaiah Expecting First Child

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At 17 years old Jordin Sparks won American Idol and now 10 years later, the talented singer and husband, model Dana Isaiah are expecting their first child. The couple secretly eloped in July and have confirmed their family will grow by one this upcoming spring to People Magazine. 

Earl Gibson III/WireImage

“It’s amazing that that phrase “When you don’t look for it, that’s when it comes” … he just showed up at my door” says Sparks.

The two newlyweds came together by chance. Sparks met Isaiah’s family during an event Super Bowl weekend through her charity I’m M.A.D. Are You?  and the couple were connected through their mothers who added the two to a groupchat. Although the intentions were for Sparks to give Isaiah advice on moving to Los Angeles the two fell in in love.  After weeks on daily conversation, Jordin Sparks finally met Dana Isaiah for the first time, Easter weekend.

A couple days after we had actually met, I was like in my head ‘That’s going to be my husband! That’s my husband right there,’” says Sparks to People Magazine.

Sparks and Isaiah bonded over similarities such as their close knit families and religious beliefs and while vacationing in Hawaii tied the knot in the presence of close friends. Shortly after their ceremony, the two learned they were expecting late August.

Both are excited about adding a member to their new family. After two very public relationships and break-ups, Sparks finally finds peace as she begins a family of her own.

“I’m extremely grateful because life is nuts. This is the best part so far because I have [Dana] and I have this little one and I have a new family. I’m the most content I’ve ever been in my life.”

 

 

Daddy Issues: The Importance Of A Healthy Father/Daughter Relationship

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The Grammy’s 2017 was full of delightful surprises.

Beyonce performed pregnant with our twins (yes OUR twins), Chance The Rapper won “Best New Artist Of The Year” and “Best Rap Album Of The Year” as an independent artist, Adele admitted that Beyonce deserved to win “Album Of The Year”, and last but not least “Best Rap Album Of The Year” nominee School Boy Q showed up looking like the super dad that he is with his daughter in matching hot pink outfits on the Grammy’s red carpet.

The image of School Boy Q in a pink sweatshirt that said “Girl Power” that matched his daughter Joy’s pink Gucci suit went viral, and it silently spoke volumes. It was a rare sighting of a positive father/daughter relationship in the African American community and showed where School Boy Q stands on gender inequality issues (he’s not having it!).

“I see a lot of stuff going on with women these days and I’m here to support them. I could go out and protest and all that, but me having a little girl, I think it starts right here—to let her know what’s going on, how she needs to be treated and the respect she needs to be given.” – School Boy Q via LA Times

On the note of positive father/daughter relationships, developmental psychologist proves School Boy Q right. Self-worth, self-esteem, and self-empowerment all start in the home. A father’s presence, love, and positive influence are vital to the mental and emotional development of our litter girls and future women. We have all heard of the term “Daddy Issues”, how fathers treat mothers and their children set the tone for who their daughters will become and what they will allow from their future partners and other male figures in their life. Many times we see women fall into unhealthy relationships with others and themselves because of this. Hurt people, hurt people and it is a cycle that has been affecting the African-American community since the beginning of time.

Daughters need their fathers. Girls who have a solid sense of self are usually “daddy’s girls”. When your father tells you how beautiful and smart you are, you will believe him and know it in your heart. Your father’s overflowing love and affection will make it difficult for you to accept anything less than because you know what is true and what is possible.When your father tells you that you can be whoever you want to be in life you believe him and feel empowered, he is the most strong and authoritative figure in your life and if he says it, got damn it’s true! Sadly the majority of us didn’t grow up with a positive father figure in our life, and it is okay!

Daddy Issues are like allergies, and most of us have them. To live a better life we have to make the decision to consciously admit to them and work through them. Here’s a bit of advice to get over your daddy issues to live a healthier and happier life with yourself and others:

  1. Be upfront with your partner, let them know about your families history. 9/10 they will understand and work with you through these issues that are affecting your relationship. If they aren’t willing to grow and work with you, kick that sucker to the curb! They are not husband material.
  2. Know that as women you are not inferior to a man no matter what you have seen in your household. Find positive images of successful women and study their stories, you are just like them and you have the ability to be whoever you want to be if you believe in yourself.
  3. Get cool with your father, as much as it may hurt in the beginning you will ultimately heal the biggest hole in your heart. Therapy is a good start for this, it will reveal your past to you and help you through the pain in your journey to healing.
  4. Find the qualities you seek for in a male in yourself. Find your confidence. Find your sexiness. Find your strength. Take charge of yourself and your life decisions before you let anyone else in to have a say so.
  5. Be patient. This is all apart of life and you are not the only one. If you have made it this far through the article then you have thought about yourself and any issues that you may have with your father, that is simply the first step. It takes time to heal any scar, physical or emotional.

 

 

 

 

 

How To Cope With Growing Apart From Friends

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Best friends forever, we made a pact in the second grade to be besties, butt buddies, soul sisters, and ace boon coons forever. We have shared some of the best moments of our lives together but as of lately, the inside jokes have faded, we barely communicate, and things just are not the same. Happy hours and meet-ups have gotten a tad bit awkward, and the fluidity of conversations just seems to be forced and unnatural. It is true that “people change,” but to think it could happen to the people around you is a hard reality to deal with.

friends

Let’s get this message out of the way first: growing apart from friends is not necessarily a bad thing. As we get older our interests and priorities begin to change. It’s no longer about getting turnt’ up until the sun rose, cramming for that biology class that was impossible to get higher than a C average in, or complaining/talking sh*t about frat boys who probably attempted to date all of you.

What brought you and your friends together in the past may not be a priority anymore and that is what can cause a significant shift in most friendships. This can happen for a variety of reasons that aren’t worth stressing over. Sometimes it’s just the way it is.

growingapart

The first step is recognizing if it’s time to move on, and here are some signs that can help determine that:

  1. You have constant misunderstandings
  2. You can go weeks without talking and it doesn’t bother you.
  3. Neither one of you seems to make time for one another, nor prioritize the friendship.
  4. You have nothing in common anymore.
  5. When something major happens, you don’t rush to call them.
  6. You don’t feel comfortable around them anymore.
  7. When you do make an effort it’s just because y’all are “best friends” and you feel an obligation to do so.

If any of those apply to you, then so be it, but don’t fret because growth and change are inevitable. This is the way the cookie crumbles, and if you have a feeling your friendship is changing and is beginning to put a strain on your personal life, here are the next couple of steps you should take:

  1. Evaluate the friendship and your needs – Think about what you currently need out of the friendship, you may need more out of the friendship then your friend is giving or you may not be able to give all that your friend is giving and it is putting a strain on the relationship. For example if you are living the single life, have a booming career, and are always busy and your friend is settled down in a relationship with a 9-5 job your lifestyles no longer align and that tends to make it hard to nurture the friendship and give each other’s what’s necessary to connect and keep the friendship going.
  2. Talk to your friend before feelings get involved and people get salty – If you truly cherish the friendship and you feel a disconnect have an honest conversation with your friend, there may be issues going on in their life that you are unaware about that is causing the disconnect. An open and true conversation can clear up any confusion and put your friendship back on the right path or help you see that it is time to place your friend in a different category and move on with minimal stress and healthy understanding. If the conversation does not solve the relationship, don’t get sad because growing apart from people is a part of your life journey.
  3. Don’t force it & don’t get angry – When one party tries to force and continue a dead relationship feelings of dismay, betrayal, and rejection will arise.  This can lead to a whole lot of unnecessary unwanted mess and a complete end to the friendship.
  4. Grieve – No your homegirl did not die, but you did lose a relationship that was once a vital part of your life and it hurts. Don’t ponder on what could have mended the relationship but remember all of your special moments and how they impacted that phase of your life, cherish those times and keep them near and dear to your heart. Accept that you are different people in different places and it’s totally cool.
  5. Live Life And Make New Friends – Telling you to just make a new friend doesn’t sound too nice but we all need friends, they make our worlds go round and enrich our lives. Don’t feel guilty for making friends that share your same energy and nurture your soul. Go out there and meet new people or get closer to people who you relate to more at the moment. Different spaces, different places.
  6. Don’t burn bridges. Stay in touch – After you realize that you and your friend have grown apart that isn’t an okay to delete their number and never talk to them again. There is a reason why you and your friend had a strong connection and that might come about again, just not at the moment. If this is a true friend we advise you to stay in touch and still be available if they are ever in need if you love them this won’t even be questioned.

All in all, this is the part of life that we weren’t really mentally equipped for, those friends forever bracelets didn’t come with a disclaimer on the receipt that says: WARNING YOU MIGHT NOT BE FRIENDS FOREVER, but it is going to be alright if you handle the situation like mature adults.

Let this article do one of two things: 1) Force you to strengthen your relationship with your best friend, or 2) Relieve yourself from a stressful environment. Either way, it’ll all work out.

 

 

 

Love & Happiness: BET Celebrates The Obama’s With Star-Studded Farewell Concert

It’s so bittersweet to say goodbye to President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama, this couple has immensely impacted America with their love and happiness.

Last Saturday during Dave Chappelle’s monologue on SNL he mentioned a very special time he spent in the White House.  He painted a beautiful picture with his words, describing what he saw and felt that night in the West Wing of the White house surrounded by beautiful black people.

“I saw all those black faces … and I saw how happy everybody was, these people who had been historically disenfranchised. It made me feel hopeful and it made me proud to be an American.”  – Dave Chappelle

We were able to get a sneak peak of this magical night as BET hosted Love and Happiness: An Obama Celebration. Live performances have always been a part of the White House traditions, and President Obama says it is one they will truly miss: “It’s with a little bit of bitter-sweetness that this is our final musical evening as president and First Lady.”

The event was hosted by Terrence J and Regina Hall who compared the Obama’s leaving The White House to AJ and Free leaving 106 & Park. The musical celebration served as a  “a love letter to the president and first lady” and featured uplifting performances from Jill Scott, Janelle Monaé, Common, Usher, Bell Biv DeVoe, The Roots, De La Soul, Yolanda Adams, Michelle Williams, Kierra Sheard, and former Hamilton star Leslie Odom, Jr. Songs filled with hope and honor were performed like the Oscar-winning Glory  to Adams, and Sheard and Williams got down to Jesus Can Work It Out.

Obama tells the audience that the evening was not just about “black music”.

“This is an essential part of the American experience. It’s a mirror (of) who we are, and a reminder of who we can be.” – President Barack Obama

This remarkable night and the Obama’s remarkable 8 years in office serves as a strong reminder that we are going to be alright, in the great words of Kendrick Lamar. Through resilience, love, and happiness African-Americans and minorities across the nation will persevere.

getdown

See some footage below from the memorable event.

How Break Up’s Can Lead To New Beginnings

You just broke up with your significant other. You’re unsure of who you are and how you feel. You can’t even recognize or remember what life was like without them. Maybe you saw it coming, maybe you didn’t. Maybe you cheated, maybe they cheated? Maybe it was just that time and you were the one to break it off, but regardless you are hurt because breaking up is just a hard reality to face.

While the way you are feeling right now is valid, don’t worry– it won’t last forever. 

When dealing with a break up you are not trying to hear any of your friends’ “fru fru” advice, and you certainly aren’t trying to read a “How To Deal With A Breakup” guide from a writer who knows nothing about you or your relationship. Your mind is clouded with “what if” and “what now”. You have been living your life a certain way with this certain someone for a significant amount of time and everything is about to change; it’s horrific!

Before you allow yourself to sulk in the negative thoughts and prolong the “eat ice cream, drink wine, and cry all day” phase, I want you to continue reading and change your perspective.

Take a deep breath — yoga style — and whip your mind back into shape. Change is the best thing to happen to us as human beings, yet we fear it the most. We resist change because we naturally fear the unknown; we want to know what is on the other side and if it is greener. We keep ourselves in content and mediocre situations, simply because we can not mentally handle the instability and anticipation of the unknown.

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” – Jack Canfield

If you are dealing with a break-up right now I want you to know that your best days are ahead of you, contrary to what you might believe at the moment. Your life is taking a turn right now, and it’s up to you to make sure you stay on the track that leads you to a better place. Take in these gems along with positive and proactive thinking, and you will be on your way to the best you that you have never met:

  • Awareness – The end of a relationship will force you to not only look back on your exes actions but on your own. You will get the chance to reflect and dissect on your situation and in turn, will learn more about your needs and what truly matters in a relationship. A lot of people think that they will never find love again, and that is the biggest lie we tell ourselves. If you take this time out to learn and grow from your situation, the next relationship that finds you will be incomparable to the last and you will no longer settle for what you are given.

 

  • Finding yourself, By Yourself – We think we completely know ourselves until we discover something new. Dead relationships can block this process because they do not allow one to grow as an individual. It’s like a pair of 2 dead flowers, the flowers were beautiful together, and they still are but now the colors have changed. No matter how much water or what environment you place the flowers in, they will no longer grow and flourish because they are dead individually. When you are by yourself you have the mental capacity, free time, and energy to flourish. It is impossible to grow when you are holding dead weight. This time alone will allow you to find yourself, by yourself with no inhibitions.

 

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  • The Glow Up – After a break-up, many of us start to focus on every aspect of ourselves and how we can become better.We lose that “relationship weight”, start dressing up more (in efforts of feeling good and getting chose), focus on our goals, and even start to strengthen our spirituality. Without even knowing it you will become a better version of yourself. “The Glow Up” happens so naturally, and it is something that you should look forward to.

 

  • A Better Relationship With The Person You Broke Up With –  There is an aspect of a breakup that breathes new life into a relationship and allows both parties to come back into the relationship feeling more confident in what they had and what they have now. When you take that time apart you do a lot of thinking, even if you have no intention of getting back together. Taking time apart will show you what you truly want and will help you build a relationship with no doubts. You now know what to do to make your love last forever, if they are the one.

Don’t be afraid to step away from anything that is holding you back from your fullest potential, and embrace the new beginnings happening within yourself. Personal happiness outweighs anything else.