You just broke up with your significant other. You’re unsure of who you are and how you feel. You can’t even recognize or remember what life was like without them. Maybe you saw it coming, maybe you didn’t. Maybe you cheated, maybe they cheated? Maybe it was just that time and you were the one to break it off, but regardless you are hurt because breaking up is just a hard reality to face.
While the way you are feeling right now is valid, don’t worry– it won’t last forever.
When dealing with a break up you are not trying to hear any of your friends’ “fru fru” advice, and you certainly aren’t trying to read a “How To Deal With A Breakup” guide from a writer who knows nothing about you or your relationship. Your mind is clouded with “what if” and “what now”. You have been living your life a certain way with this certain someone for a significant amount of time and everything is about to change; it’s horrific!
Before you allow yourself to sulk in the negative thoughts and prolong the “eat ice cream, drink wine, and cry all day” phase, I want you to continue reading and change your perspective.
Take a deep breath — yoga style — and whip your mind back into shape. Change is the best thing to happen to us as human beings, yet we fear it the most. We resist change because we naturally fear the unknown; we want to know what is on the other side and if it is greener. We keep ourselves in content and mediocre situations, simply because we can not mentally handle the instability and anticipation of the unknown.
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” – Jack Canfield
If you are dealing with a break-up right now I want you to know that your best days are ahead of you, contrary to what you might believe at the moment. Your life is taking a turn right now, and it’s up to you to make sure you stay on the track that leads you to a better place. Take in these gems along with positive and proactive thinking, and you will be on your way to the best you that you have never met:
- Awareness – The end of a relationship will force you to not only look back on your exes actions but on your own. You will get the chance to reflect and dissect on your situation and in turn, will learn more about your needs and what truly matters in a relationship. A lot of people think that they will never find love again, and that is the biggest lie we tell ourselves. If you take this time out to learn and grow from your situation, the next relationship that finds you will be incomparable to the last and you will no longer settle for what you are given.
- Finding yourself, By Yourself – We think we completely know ourselves until we discover something new. Dead relationships can block this process because they do not allow one to grow as an individual. It’s like a pair of 2 dead flowers, the flowers were beautiful together, and they still are but now the colors have changed. No matter how much water or what environment you place the flowers in, they will no longer grow and flourish because they are dead individually. When you are by yourself you have the mental capacity, free time, and energy to flourish. It is impossible to grow when you are holding dead weight. This time alone will allow you to find yourself, by yourself with no inhibitions.
- The Glow Up – After a break-up, many of us start to focus on every aspect of ourselves and how we can become better.We lose that “relationship weight”, start dressing up more (in efforts of feeling good and getting chose), focus on our goals, and even start to strengthen our spirituality. Without even knowing it you will become a better version of yourself. “The Glow Up” happens so naturally, and it is something that you should look forward to.
- A Better Relationship With The Person You Broke Up With – There is an aspect of a breakup that breathes new life into a relationship and allows both parties to come back into the relationship feeling more confident in what they had and what they have now. When you take that time apart you do a lot of thinking, even if you have no intention of getting back together. Taking time apart will show you what you truly want and will help you build a relationship with no doubts. You now know what to do to make your love last forever, if they are the one.
Don’t be afraid to step away from anything that is holding you back from your fullest potential, and embrace the new beginnings happening within yourself. Personal happiness outweighs anything else.